In 2008, I rebelled against God. I was angry. I was hurt. I felt unloved. I began a relationship out of this rebellion. In May of 2009, I married and quickly gained 3 wonderful, beautiful, goofy children. Very quickly the hard times came roaring in.
In the years following, I endured through times of hardship in which I likened myself unto a single parent - such as the time periods in which my husband was gone for basic/AIT or deployment, or times in which I felt abandoned or neglected or simply unloved and unwanted. It wasn't until January of 2014 that I felt the full force of what it meant to be a single mother. My world came crashing down before my eyes.
All I knew was that in the months preceding, my heart had been opened to the wonders of homeschool. I had already been convicted for years that the responsibility for a child's training rested soley on the parents. It took years of convincing my partner of the same. (Okay - so he wasn't convinced, but he agreed that the schools were allowing our son to fall through the cracks.) When I moved home, there was no doubt in my mind that I had to find a way to continue homeschooling my children.
The following year was a gigantenormous exercise of faith and trusting in the Lord. There was one obstacle after another. I felt like I was in the middle of a lake in the middle of a storm. The water was low and you could see the other side, but every time I tried to take a step off my stone, the water would come gushing in its attempt to sweep me away. All I had were two rocks: Christ and my own willpower. One of those rocks were all jagged and slick with moss while the other was a perfect stepping stone. All I could do was pick up the one stone and place it in front of me, take a step, and pick up the stone I just vacated and lay it down once more. It didn't take long before the force of the water started cutting through the jagged, slippery rock slowly beating it into a smooth stone. As long as I kept my willpower lined up with Christ, the torrents only worked in my favor, but the second I thought my rock was enough and tried to step away from Christ, the floods would return higher and more threatening than before.
Through this ordeal, not only did I learn what it was to REALLY trust God, but I was also able to witness an ever-loving Father's faithfulness to his daughter. No matter what happened, God was right behind me picking up the pieces. It's as if He allowed me to go through so much so that I could finally believe beyond a shadow of a doubt... He loves me. He cares for me. He wants good things for me.
Please join me on this journey as I navigate the world of singleness, full time employment, and homeschooling all while keeping the hearts of my children.
Kimmy
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